With everything, I won't let this go.

You came back to me last night.


And for the first time in almost a year, you want to be well, us again. But there's a problem with that, because I've changed. I'm confident, stronger, happier. The girl I was before I even knew who you were. You're still the same boy I met when I was fifteen. You're still the boy who made me believe we were going to be more than a last minute hang out. You're still the boy that made me cry myself to sleep every night for almost six months. You are still that boy who broke my heart. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss arguing with you over who's better - Wonder Woman or Iron Man. Or, going over to your house and making mystery food with me being the guinea pig, and half of what we made me was complete shit. How about the time we laid together in bed while you played the guitar and sang "With Me" - our song. Of course I miss laying under piles of blankets watching stupid movies with you all day and making love on occasion. I miss you, I miss us. Deep down I know you haven't changed and you're probably just fucking with my mind again. So why do I want to try this out again? Maybe to see if I even still have feelings for you or if it's just curiosity getting the best of me. I don't want to cry over the same old shit again, I don't know if love is in the cards that life has dealt us. But my heart misses you and honestly...so does the rest of me. 

Someone Like You

It wasn't just the fact that you looked at me. It was the fact that I felt I had to look back at you and yet, look away too. As if somehow, I had to accept and deny you. Invite the brush of skin and all little gestures and the tangles of fingers and yet, avoid the kiss. 


It wasn't just the fact that you made me blush and laugh. It was the fact that you looked at me when I talked and draped your arm around my shoulders and told me I was breathtaking. I felt lucky and joyous. People told me that there was something different about me. You made me feel special.


It wasn't just the fact that it wasn't awkward between us. It was the fact that it was easy. That we could joke and push each other and flirt in the physical way that I like. That you could lace your hands around my waist and I could lean back against you and feel lips kiss my hair. It was the fact that I told you, at least try to pretend like you're happy and that you said back, are you kidding? I am so happy right now. 


It wasn't just that fact that you were adorable. It was the fact that you didn't even know it. I wanted to make you feel the way I felt when you looked at me. I wanted you to feel special too because you were. I liked you just the way you were. 


It wasn't just the fact that you were incredibly sweet. It was the fact that you made me want to be the same way. I went out of my way to see you and to make you smile. I'd have done anything just to hear you call me, kid. I'd still do anything to hear that. 


The truth is, anytime I thought about you I'd get this stupid smile on my face and I never thought I'd be that girl. I never thought I would meet someone like you but I did and I'm so glad. I really am. You reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, "In short measures life may perfect be." I hope you realize that I became one of those dumb girls who become complete romantic dorks about a boy because of you. 


And for the record, honestly, after we kissed I felt infinite.