this ones for us.

heres my story and why me and whitney decided to write this blog:

i think every girl gets her heart broken at least three times in this lifetime, and the one guy that fixes it, is the lucky son of a bitch that gets to call himself her husband. i think heart breaks, crying, frustration, wanting someone so bad it hurts - is all part of the experience of love. so whenever the REAL thing comes along, you already know how to appreciate it. ive been experiencing a roller coaster ride of a "relationship" for almost ten months now. ive given this guy everything that you can possibly give to a person. my heart, my time, my love. everything. but that somehow is still not enough for him. eight out of the ten months hes had a girlfriend, bad on my part i know. ive never been proud of that. however, when you feel that electricity when you kiss that person, how your heart speeds up whenever they walk into a room, the feeling of being complete when you're talking to them, its like that other girl never existed. i know what everyone is thinking, "why are you still there after you've been waiting for ten months? he obviously doesnt want to be with you." - that statement has been replaying in my head over and over again. a part of me, knows exactly that he doesnt want a future with me, im just kind of there to him. the other part, the part obviously i listen too, says hes the one guy who can make my heart fly and my smile the biggest, this is what it must feel like to be in love. im done listening to that though, im snapping myself back into reality, im doing things that must be done. im tired of being unhappy, im tired of looking at myself and asking what im doing wrong. because the problem is not with me, it is with him. loves only the wonderful, magical, beautiful thing if you are both giving and recieiving it. obviously, im only giving it. this blog is for everyone whose felt like they've hit rock bottom, to anyone who has ever given their heart to someone and had them break it, we've all been there. this ones for US.


- love always, jenn.