you belong with me.

A noisy and crowded lunchroom held more than just young, foolish teenagers and bad cafeteria food for me. It held secrets, deception, love, unbreakable bonds, myself and a certain boy. This part of the day was always my least favorite. If you were to look at me, you'd see nothing unusual. You'd see a girl eating a basic lunch and surrounded by friends - cracking jokes, smiling and laughing. If you were to look inside my head however, you'd see my mind was not on the conversations being held. You'd see i was thinking about the boy sitting exact opposite of me on the other side of the cafeteria. The boy sitting next to her. This girl, that was so smugly seated next to him, was a very unique girl. More quiet than most, her face hardly ever showing happiness, her posture slouched, and her outfits pecuilar. He found something spectacular within her, something i never could see or understand what it was. Nonetheless, she had the two things i wanted most dearly. His heart and the profound label as his "girlfriend." Day by day, i'd see these two together. In the mornings, brief moments in the hallway, and always at lunch. The one thing i felt everytime i saw them together, was always the same. It felt as though my whole body had suddenly been electrically shocked and my heart was being cut open. I would fight back the tears that stung my eyes, and attempt to keep my composure as the confident, fun, always happy, girl that everyone saw me as. I promised myself that i would not let this affect me, but it always did. This was the girl that i never could seem to measure up to. His heart showed more love to her than it ever did to me. He might be telling me sweet things and making me feel a certain way, but at the end of the day, lying in bed, it was not me who was on his mind, it was her. At the end of the day, she was the person he wanted to be with most in this world. Knowing this, i never did understand why i stuck around. I was merely a back up to him, the girl he would go to when she did something to piss him off. I wanted him so dearly to see though, that he belonged with me. That i was the girl who deserved to love his heart, to be his shoulder to cry on, the one that he was thinking of when the moon was lighting up our small town. It was supposed to be me. The only person i thought knew how i felt, was someone i didn't even know personally. The lyrics to the song "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, seemed to fit my life to a T. I can't tell you how many times i have sang the words to that song, more than any math scholar could count. Me and this boy were not getting any better though. At one point of time, it seemed like aruging was the only thing we did anymore. I don't remeber such a time where i have cried so much, or felt as desperate and pathetic as i did. But nonetheless, i stuck by his side, waiting, praying, that i would be the one he would choose in the end. Ironically, eight months later, she did the choosing for the both of us. She ended things with him, for reasons i still do not know. He's still to this day, not mine, but i know for sure he will see, that he belongs with me...


- love always, jenn.