Hey Dad, look at me.

 I'm sorry I can't be the daughter I know you ache for. I'm sorry my hair is not blonde but brown, my eyes the color of the soil not the color of the skies.  I'm sorry my interest is an orange ball in my hands aiming for a hoop, craving a "swish". Not standing by the football field cheering. I'm sorry I'm a "mouthy bitch" as you call it, and not a girl who can hold her tongue. I'm sorry you find more interest in a bottle then you do in talking to me. I'm sorry we have nothing in common besides the unbreakable bond that we're tied too. I'm sorry for whatever makes you hate me so much, if that's even hate at all. I remember the days when you were my best friend. If there was ever a night where I was haunted by my dreams, you were the name I was calling in the dark. Do you remember when I left to New York for six weeks with Mom, Autumn, and Stephanie? I remember missing you so so much. You wrote me a letter, I still have it. What happened? You used to be a man I thought could carry the world on his shoulders. Now you're someone I wish I never knew. You hurt me more than anyone I've ever met. I feel so ugly, pathetic, and weak when you say things to me. I'm sorry I'm not skinny. I'm sorry my complexion isn't as clear as you wished it was. I'm sorry for whatever makes me seem not good enough in your eyes. You don't know how badly I want you to say "I"m proud of you." or even an "I love you." would be nice sometimes...you're supposed to be my Dad. You're supposed to be someone I can count on and wish that my future boyfriends could even be something of a comparison too. But you're not, you're a stranger to me..you hurt me. And as much as I love you, I hate you just the same.