then and now.

Then: you'd text me "good morning beautiful =)", you told me your dreams were filled with thoughts of me, you'd kiss me in the most passionate ways, you held onto my hand like it was your priority, we were always talking or together, your arms felt like home, you couldn't get enough of me, you made efforts to make me smile, you protected me, you'd make me feel invincible, loving each other was easy, the butterflies in my stomach never went away, fighting was something we did on occassion, you were the reason behind my smiles, if words weren't said -the way we looked at each other was enough, i'd go to bed smiling and wake up the exact same way, you were someone i was positive i could count on, i was happy, you were happy, we were happy.

Now: our goodmorning texts have turned into simple "morning", you say you don't dream about anything anymore, when i'm lucky enough to share a kiss from you - its not the same, i'm no longer a priority - its more like an option, talking to you is no longer the same, your arms are my safe haven, i feel like i annoy you these days, its like you don't care if i smile anymore or not, you don't care what i do anymore, you shouldn't have to try as hard as we do to make things work, i haven't gotten butteflies since god knows when, it seems as though we are always fighting, smiling is something my friends make me do these days, you don't look at me the way you used too, i go to bed thinking of what is wrong with us and where we went wrong, i don't think i can count on you for anything these days, im not happy, you're happy - but not because of me, we're not us, and i'm not sure what to do about that.


- love always, jenn.